Posted by lculver22 | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on October 1, 2013
Lead
“Johhny,” “What,” “You got something in the mail,” “Cool,” “Here,” “Thanks mom, Cool an invitation to Noah’s cottage, we leave tommorow.”
Lead
“Johhny,” “What,” “You got something in the mail,” “Cool,” “Here,” “Thanks mom, Cool an invitation to Noah’s cottage, we leave tommorow.”
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Landon,
Great lead! I love the way you have used dialogue to capture your reader’s attention. As you begin to revise your lead, I would suggest identifying who is saying what. For example, “What?” Johnny replied. “You got something in the mail,” Johnny’s mom said.
Keep up the great work!
Mr. Commeret