Posted by lculver22 | Posted in Uncategorized | Posted on September 10, 2013
The Big Hit
It was a warm day at the ball park,it was the opening day my team the Marlins were in the middle of a game.He’s out we got the last out.We were down 7-8 I was up there was one out and two strikes the pitcher tiped his cap into place.He winded up,crack!!! I jacked it,it hit the wall the runner on third scored I ran as fast as I could.At third the couches yelled stop! I kept on running I scored we won! The whole team crowded around me they were hitting me and shaking me so hard me helmet came off. The final score was 9-8. After the game I got the game ball. Everyone kept on saying nice hit it really felt good.
HI NICE AGAIN
Hey Landon,
My name is Payton Ponstein and I am a student at Hope College. I am really excited to be your blog buddy this year. I got your questions so here are the answers. I love sports, my favorites are football, basketball and baseball. I am a boy that is 20 years old.
I would also like to say that your story “The Big Hit” was awesome. I loved how you really made the story suspenseful and exciting. It sounds like it was a great experience and you must be quite the athlete. Hope you have a great day and hopefully hear back from you soon.
Payton
Landon,
WOW! Amazing story. It sure sounds like you “jacked” it. 🙂 I like how you zoomed in on the moment when the pitcher was getting ready to pitch. I felt like I was there! What an exciting moment…thanks for making me feel a part of it.
Make sure you are putting the proper spacing and punctuation as you type. There should be a space after any punctuation. Also, some sentences could be made into two sentences, or joined together with a connecting word (also, and, but, which).
Great start!
Mr. Commeret
I like your story dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!